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Vasaris, the Fuzzy Dragon
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March 2014
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Vasaris, the Fuzzy Dragon [userpic]
Cthulhu-chan on a crispy cracker with blood-and-brains dip garnished with petrified parsley

Shamelessly stolen for sheer WTF-age value from childfree

Dear Annie:

My girls like Dave, but lately, he's been worrying me. Once when I came home from work, I heard Dave say to my oldest daughter, "You worthless brat! Get your butt over here!" It terrified me to hear him talk like that to my children, and I stormed into the house and confronted him. He said he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. I love him more than anything in the world, so I forgave him.

Two weeks later, I called my daughter from work and heard her scream. Then I heard something that sounded like metal clanging, and then she hung up. I rushed home and my daughter said, "Dave threw butter knives at me." My husband said they were just playing.

I was concerned enough to place a tape recorder under the couch, and I turned it on when I left for work. When I came home, I listened to the tape. That's when I discovered that Dave is abusive to my kids, both verbally and physically.

I love Dave too much to leave him, but I can't put my girls in danger. I explained the situation to my ex-husband, and the girls are now staying at his house until I work things out with Dave. But I still haven't talked to Dave. I told him the kids wanted extra time with their father. I'm afraid if he learns the truth, he'll get angry and leave me. I don't know what to do. How can I protect my girls and my marriage? — Appalled in Alpena

Dear Alpena: If you insist on staying with an abusive man, you must let your girls live permanently with their father, who will care for them properly. Under no circumstances should they be permitted to return to you as long as Dave is part of your life. You have chosen him over your children. End of story.

Holy mater-swiving, pater-snogging, grandparent-buggering God-of-your-choice, woman, you're OBVIOUSLY NOT FLIPPING APPALLED ENOUGH! If there is any justice in this bloody, indifferent, entropy-increasing universe, your ex has already called a halfway competent family lawyer and started whatever proceedings he needs to get your screamingly delusional, fucktarded, and incoherently, incomprehensibly infatuated self declared unfit and those girls placed into his permanent custody.

To use an ever-popular phrase I learned on F_W, what the shit is this? What in the ever-expanding, infinitely enduring dust-motes in the vastness of hard vacuuum are you thinking? You luuuuuuuuuuuuv him? You waaaaaaaaaaaant him? You Neeeeeeeeeed him?

You. Are. A. Screaming. Shit-snogging. Rectal-cranial inversion gone waaaaaaaaay past its 'USE BY' date.

Your head is obviously so far up your ass that you're nursing on the HCL and half-digested crap coming out of your stomach.

Whatever else you do, get your fecking tubes tied before you bring another child into the hell you laughably call a family. And sign away all of your parental rights, bitch, because you have zero right to call yourself a mommy to anyone.

Current Location: Home with a cold. Damnit.
Current Mood: angryFucking Appalled
Current Music: Drying clothes. Rar.