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Vasaris, the Fuzzy Dragon
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March 2014
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Vasaris, the Fuzzy Dragon [userpic]
There is something that has always confuzzled me...

This is something I see frequently.

Outside there are between 3 and 6 people at a gas pump. The are all staring at it, one or two gesticulating wildly, and one desperately pulling the trigger to no result.

Eventually one comes in.

"It no work."

"Press the green button," says I, making a gesture like punching -- you guessed it -- a button.

"Oh, Okay."

Then they go back outside. More gesticulating, discussion, and desperate nozzle-shoving ensues. No button pushing, though.

The same person comes in.

"It no work!"

"Press cash. I will turn the pump on." These words are enunciated clearly at a slightly slower speed, since this person obviously doesn't speak English well.

"Oh! Okay."

Goes back out. By now one would think that there's a wild tribal dance going on to the tune of "For the Longest Time" -- a song you just can't beat for that jungle rhythm, uh-huh -- what with the wild gesticulation and the fancy footwork as the person with the nozzle tries to find the perfect angle. Still, no one pushes the cash button, so I still can't turn the pump on.

The same person comes in again!

"Pump NO WORK!"

"It would if you'd just press cash!"

*blank stare*

"I no speak English."

Actually, at this point, I've rather gotten this idea.

"All right, I'll come out to help you." Which, of course, I would have done if you'd mentioned you had no idea what I was saying the first time.

I walk up to the pump, usually having to step around the various, arm-flailing, footwork-fanciers to the person manning the nozzle.

Who almost invariably, in near perfect English says something like: "I can't seem to get the pump to work, what do I need to do?"

"Press the cash button." I then suit actions to words, and my co-worker turns the pump on, the gas starts flowing, and the party atmosphere ratchets up a notch in celebration as I wander back into the store with but one thought on my mind.

If you speak perfectly good English, why do you send someone who cannot undertand it to get instructions?

Why? Why? Why?


Most people are idiots. There's no other explanation.