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Vasaris, the Fuzzy Dragon
vasaris
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March 2014
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Vasaris, the Fuzzy Dragon [userpic]
There's Something About a Uniform

Although, frankly, dress uniforms are more fun than camos, really.

Last week a van stopped next to the doors of the store. Normally, I go out and politely ask the driver to move up about ten feet so they don't block it, but I was so surprised by the three (rather cute, actually) Army guys that piled out of it I didn't say anything.

"Do you have coffee, ma'am?" asks the tall, dark, and cute-if-faintly-geeky looking one.

"Yes," this is a convenience store/gas station, my brain inserts, duh "and if you want to wait about a minute and a half the pot currently brewing will be done."

"Excellent!" he says and turns to get a cup as short-ish, blond-ish, but actually a bit more rugged-looking comes up to me.

"Do you know where the detention center for the Border Patrol/Customs is, ma'am?"

I blink. Can't say I've ever put much thought into where Border Patrol/Immigration houses miscreants. "I thought that was the county jail, which is in Bellingham."

"No, ma'am. They told us we had to come up to Blaine."

"Er. Well, the Nexus off is on 12th, but I don't think they're open..."

Co-worker, "Well, there's that building across from the grocery store."

I nod and notice Tall-Dark-And-Faintly-Geeky (TDAFG) getting a cup while Shorter-and-quieter (SAQ) browses the candy isle. "Why?"

"Well," says shortish-and-blondish (SAB), "Two of my men have apparently done something kind of stupid."

"Two?" snorts TDAFG, perusing our selection of real and fake sugar. "There are FOUR of them."

"Well, only two of them are mine."

SAQ snorts and mutters about it being their day off. Then he smirks at TDAFG ribbing him about his wife's opinion on the matter. I snicker as TDAFG snarks back and then approaches the counter.

"How much, ma'am? I need coffee so I don't yell too much." TDAFG sets his coffee down in front of me. I charge him for a small, because, hey, there aren't that many perks to being in the Army.

"Why do you need to yell?" -- sue me, I'm curious, and frankly the friendly bickering between them is providing me with enormous amusement. I'm even glad I'm not off until late when it ususally pisses me off.

"Four of my men went to Canada."

I nod. I'd managed to gather that much.

"One of them lost his ID."

Ooooooops, I think.

"They tried to smuggle him back in the trunk of the car."

Glasses off. FACEPALM. Cue involuntary giggling.

Seriously.

"Stupid idiots."

I utterly fail to point out the redundancy of that statement as I am fighting off convulsions from laughter.

"Oh, God. That's... that's..." My words sputter to a stop, my brain out of fuel and unable to run my mouth. My co-worker is staring at him, gobsmacked, and the Canadian behind him in line looks remarkably like a stuffed and mounted fish, complete with the GINORMOUS glass eyes.

"Why didn't they just go inside?" she asks, which is more than I can do, since I'm torn between hysterical laughter and utter terror that these are the people who we rely on to defend our country.

"We don't know," says SAQ, in line behind her. "We just had to come up to get them.

"I imagine they'll be hearing about that," I say as TDAFG moves away from the counter and I ring up Canadian-lady.

"Oh, yes." SAB smiles, all lupine and toothy. I imagine that there are four young soldiers who are going to be seriously regretting life for some time to come. Unless they manage something even more impressively moronic.

"That's just so..." says Canadian-lady, trailing off at the stupendous level of stupid, and I nod, agreeing with her.

I wonder, faintly, if this is the reason that the stupid has been fairly light today, because it had all be sucked up by soldiers on leave.

She pays me and SAQ comes up to me. Coffee, gum, and a trace of junk food... just right to torture everyone else in the van with on the way back down, since Ft. Lewis is a good 2 to 2-1/2 hours away. Big meanie.

"Well," I say as I finish ringing him out and start on SAB. "I hope your evening gets better."

"Thank you, ma'am," says SAB, sweetly preadatory. "I assure you. It will."

Current Mood: amusedamused