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Vasaris, the Fuzzy Dragon
vasaris
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March 2014
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Vasaris, the Fuzzy Dragon [userpic]
Engineers

Engineers are funny people, as anyone who has gone to school with one (or more of them) should know. Engineers like to do things the hard way, often overlooking simpler solutions to their problems.

Still, they're pretty amusing.

From my experience, engineers like to build things. This makes sense, right? After all, they're engineers.

Thing that many people don't know about engineers is that they also like to burn things down and blow them up... and if you can find an activity that involves building something, burning it down and/or blowing it up you've got one seriously jazzed engineer.


Imagine, if you will, a small, private college that primarily turns out engineers. Oh, there are chemists, and biologists, and mathematicians, and computer geeks, but around half of the student body is comprised with people who want to build things for a living, but not-so-secretly yearn to burn things down and blow them up.

Imagine that there is new construction going on -- not unusual at a place of higher education because there's little in the world that will get alumni to chip in like a new building -- and, of course, your average engineering student is thrilled with this procedure. There's all sorts of interesting things lying around at construction sites, just waiting for pilfering!

Student 1: Hey! Look at this! Isn't it cool?
Student 2: Uh. It's rebar. Why do you need a six-foot long piece of rebar?
Student 1: I don't, but isn't it just awesome?
Student 2: Dude, it's rebar.

Not content, of course, with the multiple uses of a length of rebar, other things are guaranteed to find their way out of the 'toss' pile and into the possession of students that really do have better things to do with their time... like filling super-soakers with ethanol and shooting it at an open flame.

First Aider: stares at small pool of burning alcohol, the super soaker, the shooter and the small crowd surrounding the accident waiting to happen.
Engineer: Wheeee! Isn't it cool!
First Aider: You do know that I don't fix stupid, right?
Engineer: Uh, huh! squirts out a long stream of volatile liquid Yay!
First Aider: Right.

So it comes as no surprise that once having found various pieces of detritus, obviously something needs to be done with them that involves flame, etching solution, and/or carbon monoxide bombs.

Student 1: How about we drop flaming cinderblocks off of the balcony?
Student 2: Nah, West Dorm was doing that with bowling balls last week.

Engineers are inventive, though. It's a given, really, since they're, y'know, engineers and all, so when they found themselves with a length of metal pipe perhaps four and a half feet long ("Isn't it cool!"/"It's a pipe. Haven't you got homework to do, or something?") the engineers in my dorm obviously had to come up with something to do with it.

Student 1: There's a pipe in the courtyard.
Student 2: Yeah, I know.
Student 1: Why is there a pipe in the courtyard?
Student 2: How should I know? Do I look like an engineer?
Engineer1: It's cool!
Student 1: You scare me.

So the engineering students deliberated, pondered, and generally did bad jobs on their English essays while trying to conceive of what to do with a four and a half foot long, eighteen inch wide steel pipe. Then, one day:

Sophomore Engineer: I know!
Senior Engineers: What?
Sophomore Engineer: Let's build a CANNON!
Senior Engineers: D'oh!
Everyone Else In The Room: OMGWTFBBQ!

Thus it was that the first cannon was built. The engineers studied the pipe, searching for flaws. Other's tried to devise ways to set off the explosion. Still others occupied themselves with at least faint jabs at doing the math to see if it was safe -- before giving it up as a bad job, because, dude, CANNON! What could be cooler than that?

Of course, once a plate has been welded on to a steel pipe and the method of expulsion has been determined, the question becomes... when do you set it off?

But that, of course, is another story.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Current Mood: amusedreminiscent
Comments

o_o The good thing is that all these people will either
A) grow up, mature, and stop doing such things
or B) eliminate themselves from the gene pool very quickly

Then again, fire and explosions are really really awesomely cool, and I'm still secretly plotting to build an Exploding Chicken Cannon.

XD